It's Holy Thursday. I'm standing in the kitchen with my bullet journal open and no idea what to do. But there is a lot to do. So much, in fact, before Easter, and the dent I've put in that to-do list isn't worth calling the insurance company over. I'm already stressed, anxious about my ultimate failure, slow and inevitable like a melting glacier. Can I please just skip ahead to the Alleluia, wake up on a sunny Paschal morning with the dishes sparkling in the drying rack and the outfits laid out clean and crisp to put on for Mass? I'm not ready. I'm not prepared. I don't even know where to begin.
So maybe today, I'll just ignore the to-do list. I mean, do things if I feel so moved, but channel my energy into being present, even imperfectly so, even if I fall asleep. On just waiting and watching and praying in the Garden. All I have to bring is me. All I have to do is be.
I think I can do that. I think it'll be okay.
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