Winter Afternoons

There's a certain Slant of light,
Winter Afternoons –
That oppresses, like the Heft
Of Cathedral Tunes –

Heavenly Hurt, it gives us –
We can find no scar,
But internal difference –
Where the Meanings, are –

None may teach it – Any –
'Tis the seal Despair –
An imperial affliction
Sent us of the Air –

When it comes, the Landscape listens –
Shadows – hold their breath –
When it goes, 'tis like the Distance
On the look of Death –

-- Emily Dickinson

3/52

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2017."

Roan:  the day we thought it'd be a good idea to go to Llandudno, before the meltdown.  ^^;;;;  He loves trespassing and closing other people's gates.

Afon:  after school on a sunny day, eating his favorite, a granola bar.  His grandfather took for a new, cool (and slightly messy, one can only hold him down for so long) haircut this week.

Yarn Along

Just got some worrying news about a dear friend and her pregnancy.  So feeling all prayerful, all of the sudden.  When I'm agitated, I like to read Kathleen Norris.  (I've been agitated the past few days, while my friend has been suffering and tested, and I wonder--can we sense that like some kind of invisible radio waves, trembling along the air?)  She draws the tears out, somehow, like drawing out poison, and I feel a bit better.  I'm thinking,  I need to be a better Christian, if only so that God will listen to my prayers when I am finally moved to them for the people I love.  If I can't be holy for myself, at least I can try to be holy for them.

My snowflake is floppy, even after I drenched it in starch and ironed it.  I'll forgive it, though, for being so pretty.

Two Years

2/52

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2017."

Afon:  the actual prince of Wales.  ;)

Roan:  cold day in Llandudno.

Yarn Along

A triptych of a baby bonnet, more or less.  Been a long time in the making.

The title caught my attention, Fast Days & Feast Days, but after the initial double take I knew it had nothing to do with the liturgical year.  It still made enough of an impression that I picked it up on clearance in The Works a few days ago.  The gist of it is that incorporating two days of 500-calorie fasting into one's week will improve health.  Its foundations are in scientific research; the weight loss that comes along is just an added benefit.  Well, well.  What do you know!  Yet another thing the Catholic Church was onto centuries ahead of everyone else.  (I hardly need to add that there are two main days for fasting, on Wednesdays and Fridays, so . . . I'ma shut up now!)

There's a forecast for snow (!!!) tomorrow, and while I appreciate the attempt, Mission Impossible hail stones falling from the sky today just wasn't the same!

Striking a Balance

Being a parent to small children entails a kind of spiritual tiredness no one could have warned me about.  It would be taxing on a good day to have autonomous human beings utterly dependent on you for every aspect of their existence without them cheerfully endangering that existence at every turn.  I've never met any other kind of species which required so much active intervention to keep alive.  Refuse to wear clothing 30 degree weather?  Sounds luxurious!  Eat this soap/rock/foam/styrofoam/stick/mysterious plastic object?  Delicious!  Step out of a moving vehicle?  Don't mind if I do!



I've been thinking lately--usually when I'm walking to and from places, that's the only time my mind is ever really free, though my limbs are occupied--about striking a balance between being kind to myself and holding myself to higher standards.  Like, when do you know that you've given all you can give and when do you know that you can be stretched, the way God sees into your heart and says, "You can do better"?

It helps to have a community that can be honest with you, the way a mirror is honest, without personal feelings coloring the reflection, but with the unique human attribute of being invested in you for your own sake, because they love you and care about you.  If you can find a community like that, you've found the eighth wonder of the world.